I have mentioned over the years that my dad lives with us. He turned 90 last week! He's had health problem of the years, but things are coming more frequently. Most recently, he's been in the hospital with pneumonia. We has a choking problem and aspirated something. He's home and fine now, but we have visiting nurses, speech therapist and nutritionists, because he's so thin. He's still sharp though, which is helpful…the hard of hearing, not so much. I have to repeat myself so much and each time gets louder and louder. By the end, he's saying…"why are you yelling at me?" AHHHH!!! If I don't laugh, I will cry, Lol
He also has internal bleeding somewhere and can't get in under control. One surgery last month didn't work, so they took his keys away from him for fear that he might faint while driving. He is NOT happy about losing his keys (he thinks he's getting them back in 2 weeks). I'm thankful they took his key, but lots of doctors appointments to go to now. My dad also just lost his younger sister. I loved my Aunt Mary. She was the kindest person and was a major influence in my love of sewing. It hit my dad hard when she died, so lots happening with him.
We are also having a 90th birthday/family reunion here at our house in 2 weeks for my dad. My whole family is flying in and coming over, so that will cheer him up!! Lots of cleaning and organizing going on too. You know I've always said…if you want to really clean your house (like dust bunny clean), have a party! Lol
Courtney and Courtland are in their new apartment and loving it. They are only 45 minutes way and it was fun moving them in and setting things up. I've spent some time up there hanging draperies, so I have a few tips for apartment life and disguising vertical blinds.
Our daughter Kelsie is also going to Disney World for a 5 month internship with the Disney College Program. We are driving her down to Florida from Rhode Island in early August, so we're trying to pack her up for that. In the middle of it all, my 12 year old dependable van was not so dependable any more. We had to buy a new one. I love my new Toyota Sienna, but we haven't had a car payment in years, so that part is not so good!
We are all going through difficult times at some point. Life can hand you crazy situations. I have my loving husband and my family to go through this with me. My sister is always there for us too. We laugh a lot about all the things that happen to us. Telling stories and just being there for each other is most important, but sometimes it's good to get help from others who have been through the same things.
A few years ago, I started a club here for empty nesters when our daughters went off to school. I think that online blogging friends are the best help for advice and encouragement. I've been thinking about starting different clubs here again for everyone to help out with life's little issues.
The Full Nest…
Like our house was these last few months. Courtney and her fiancé Courtland were living with us to save money, Kelsie came home from college and her best friend Emily is living with us too, because she is working with Kelsie at the same country club. My husband and I and my dad makes 7 adults in one house. In the "Full Nest Club", maybe we can all share cooking, cleaning and organizing tips to keep life running smoothly.
The Empty Nest…
When the kids are gone and your house is a little quieter. Cooking for smaller numbers, missing your kids when they're gone and all the things that go along with kids flying the coop.
The Silver Nest..
Living with elderly parents is certainly a life experience. Laughs, frustrations, family, stories to last a lifetime and times you want to pull your hair out. If you have senior family members living with you, then the Silver Nest Club will be helpful for all of us.
The Baby Nest…
I want to add The Baby Nest, but I haven't been down that road in a while. I see grandchildren in the not so distant future, so maybe I will add it and get help from all of you with the "little ones". Even if you don't have babies of your own at home, you may have grand babies or you may watch little ones. It would be great to hear ideas and thoughts from others.
I'll have a post with all the clubs with tips and tricks I've learned along the way having lived in all situations. In the comment section, everyone can share THEIR tips and tricks to add to the club. Blogging and the computer can be the best connection we can make for info and making friends in the same situation.
If you can think of anything I can add to that next post let me know…I'd love to hear anything you have in mind.
Thanks again for always being there and looking out for me when I "fell off the face of the earth".
~Karen~
I thought that you were away on vacation or something :) My goodness you've had your hands full ! :(
ReplyDeleteYou are a woman after my own heart. Through life's difficulties I, too have learned to breathe, pray, laugh, and allow others to help me. It works and makes life so much more enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteI love your club ideas!!! Right when I got use to empty nest....senior in college faced a difficult time and dropped out semester term of senior year and is currently home again. Also a new grandma! Your post helped me to see that we float inbetween all of these stages....thank you for sharing. It helped. Val from myplvl.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLife is certainly a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. So sorry for the loss of your Aunt Mary.... sounds like you must have many lovely memories to cherish. Good luck with your Dad and all of the issues you all are dealing with. Don't forget to take care of yourself and have some "me" time to recharge your batteries.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are still hanging in there. Life gets complicated sometime. Will say a prayer for your Dad.
ReplyDeleteMy niece did the internship at Disney, had a ball, and made many lasting friendships. It's such an awesome experience. I used to drive down from RI every February vacation when the kids were small.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good trip! Hugs to your dad. Wish my house was full like that! It's been many years.
We did the dad living with us bit too and had him with us for 12 years. I wouldn't trade those years for anything, but I do admit there were a lot of challenges. I went straight from having a dad with hearing problems to my husband now having them too. Laughter is the best thing - if you can find something humorous in whatever situation arises, you will cope much better. Bless you for what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteHi! Here is a hug!
ReplyDeleteWe have a disabled son living with us, he is 34!
At Christmas, my dad comes to live with us, he is deaf too, cannot hear, but hears well with the loud voice! I just make him wear his hearing aid all the time... If not, I remind him!
I suggest a chore chart on the fridge....
Who has bathroom cleaning duty, dishes duty, even cooking duty, etc!
With meals, agree to work around everyone's schedule, then plan meals AND who is coking them. Maybe when your Dad's turn, that is the night for take out from his fav restaurant....
Will cost a few pennies, but you like to plan and charts on the fridge will make it easier for you, and them too!
Best of luck, take care, Leslie
My father in law just turned 95 last week. He doesn't live with us but still lives alone with the help of a temporary companion. We have him over for dinner a couple of nights a week as do the other siblings. We have two adult children that still live with us, but on e will be getting married in February. Life is certainly full of changes.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear from you again. You have certainly had & still have your hands full. Rest assured that I will still be here checking in & being patient while your life, hopefully, gets back to manageable. You have had so many changes & challenges in a very short time. Will hold you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI never like to complain because life has been so good to me. Recently my family is going through a crisis and it just drains you. I wish I was a stronger person but not at this time. Hang in there - you are doing everything you can. Life does throw you a punch sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWell, I thought you were on vacation. Now I see you NEED a vacation ~lol~ I've been the revolving door route at my house too with my daughter and her kids coming and going. I have no tips..just learn to laugh a lot and look for the humor in the situation.
ReplyDeletexx, Carol
Glad you are ok. I missed you.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog.
Nancy
Gosh you have been busy. I hope you manage to take a little time for yourself. Hope your dad's feeling better soon. X
ReplyDeleteGlad to read a post from my old home state...and yes, life gets in the way even when it is only two living in one space.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen; I do not comment too often, but I do read your blog every day. I used your idea for storage of ribbon and paper rolls. I had a carpenter friend build me two inserts to nestle into the legs of my craft table. This has made access to ribbon and wrapping paper very easy. They are removable if I need the extra seating space. You have such great ideas. I am sorry you have had a lot going on, that is affecting your blog posts. I am not nearly to your level in blogging land, but I lost my Mom a few months ago and until this week, all of my ideas were missing in action. I just could not think about what to post. I am beginning to get back where I left off, and I have a big list of posts to work on. I knew for a few months that my Mom was sick, but that did not make it an easier, except that I was able to say good bye. I can not imagine (nor do I want to) how difficult it must be for parents to lose their children, because I understand that it is even harder than losing your parent. This has been very difficult so my heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with a loss. I will have at least two posts this week, which is good for me right now. What usually takes me a day to compose has taken four days. I am glad to hear your Dad is feeling a little better. It is one more thing that says how nice you are, that you have your Dad living with you, rather than in a care home. My motherinlaw had to go in a home as she had alzheimers and cancer. We had to put her in the home for her own safety as we could not keep her safe. But we still went every day to visit with her. Take care of yourself and welcome back. www.cheriesforgetmenots.com. I am one of your avid readers I have learned lots from you just by watching your posts. I have a double nest situation at my house. We have gone through the silver nest, the empty nest, the family nest & friends, and now it is the full nest with fur. Our daughter who was out, came back with her 115 pound dog. He is great, but he comes with lots of pet proofing and at this time of the year, fur. It is fun having them but it sure is differnet to where we were a few months ago in our empty nest. Welcome back.
ReplyDeleteMissed you, but since both of my parents (on the same day) had strokes almost 3 weeks ago I would not have been reading. Your blog made my day as I am thinking about all I have to get done before going to visit them today. You are a trooper and set a wonderful example to keep me from falling into the pitty pit. Fortunately dad is now home and was just moved to a skilled nursing for rehab. You never know what the future will hold!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the uplifting catch up. Glad your dad is doing okay and so sorry to hear about your Aunt.
Meet you at the boarder for coffee.....Mary in MA
You certainly have had your hands full! So sorry to hear about your aunt, and hope your dad's health improves. I love the idea of the clubs! We are in the empty nester stage and have two grandkids.
ReplyDeleteI've heard great things about that Disney program. Love your perspective about all that's going on in your family. Hugs!
ReplyDeletei'm sitting up in bed with my vitamins while catching up: have to get up and start the day with my 92-year old hard of hearing husband. i need the Silver Club and my bff needs the kids-returning-with-friend-and-pets Club. the big thing i've discovered is that i HAVE to take care of myself (meds/gym/getaway) as well as my dear one. fortunately my 92 year old (living independently) mother is doing well and i have a sister close, also. oh, and my kids and step kids are on their own at the moment. your ideas and perspective have helped me in lots of ways. hope to hear from you soon...
ReplyDeleteon my previous comment, i'm in the PDT zone, so sitting up in bed at 7 am isn't really as bad as the 10:04 marked on my comment.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Have missed your posts, but don't we all know how life gets in the way. Hugs to you my friend!
ReplyDeleteLike the idea of ALL your Clubs!
ReplyDeleteI could join at least three of them.
Yes Karen life has certainly dealt me curve balls too. I think I fall into a few clubs My husband passed away suddenly three years ago, leaving me and my two daughters in the house. Last spring the oldest who is now engaged moved into an apartment (all very exciting stuff), leaving me and my youngest daughter, I though ok maybe its time to downsize she'll finish at community college this year and go away to nursing school in 2015. Then my niece and her 7 year old son needed a place to stay to save some money - in they moved so now it's the 4 of us. My mother also has suffered with Dementia and getting progressively worse in the past year. I keep telling myself everything happens for a reason even it I don't know what it is just yet!
ReplyDeleteHi Karen great post and sorry to hear about your various issues, going through a few myself so can sympathize!!!! How about The Parents of Teenagers Club!!!!! Our two are in their teens and it is challenging!!!!! Hope things improve soon. Hugs Susie x
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear that things are relatively OK in your world Karen. Life does send us some curve balls.
ReplyDeleteDear Karen,
ReplyDeleteI am an avid reader of your blog, though I have never commented. You have inspired me as we designed my sewing room! I, too, have shared an experience similar to yours. My mother passed several years ago. During my difficult years in taking care of her, I learned to do something for myself every day - even it is was simply a good cleansing cry in the shower. :) In retrospect, I realize that those years made me more vulnerable and more willing to accept help. Our marriage grew by leaps and bounds. Now, there are even times when we laugh - actually laugh - as we tell stories from those years of taking care of mom. Self-Care. Faith. Laughter. Love. You will not only survive, you will thrive! Take Good Care! Patricia
I missed you here on Sew Many Ways. So good to have you back and that your dad is feeling better. I also love your club ideas. I live thousands of miles from family so am very alone. My daughter moved away 4 years ago to go to uni and has now finished but has found work where she is so hasn't returned home. I only have my son and hubby around and can't always talk to them about things that bother me.
ReplyDeleteTake care
Glad to see you back. Been thru it all, and the last move back in adult child(I have 2 grand children by her and 3 great grands) will be leaving soon. It tells me what a loving responsible person you are. Your family is blessed to have you and vice-a-versa. Several of the ladies hit the nail on the head....Faith, love, hope and laughter will win out in the end. That and quit taking anything new on for awhile!
ReplyDeletePoor Karen - I hope things get better for you soon. From everything you have written over the years, it sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive husband and family. I'm going through a similar experience right now with my parents - dad had a stroke before Christmas and mom has been diagnosed with a serious lung disease. I have no husband and it's hard not to have someone to lean on when things get overwhelming. But I also don't have to worry about anyone when I need to stay with them or drop everything to go to them. I hope things improve for both of us. Thanks so much for your wonderful blog. I look for you every day and enjoy your tips and ideas immensely. Hugs to you Nancy
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! It does happen to other people too!!!! For a while I thought it only happened to us!!!! Also lots going on here, mainly not enjoying the new place so much!!! But we are trying!!!! Have a happy weekend and love to your Dad!!!
ReplyDeleteLove
AMarie xxx
My goodness, you do have your hands full! Had to laugh at the 'dust bunny clean' remark. I've always maintained the best incentive to having a clean house is to have company over once a week - or at least a couple of times a month.
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy reading your blog and found your post of different "nest life" interesting. You asked for suggestions...what about the newly married nest, then the baby nest, then the full house nest, then the empty nest, then the silver nest, and what about the rest of my life nest. After being in the silver next for a while and watching over my mother, she has passed on. Now my life is in adjustment again, as what do I want to do next now that I have free time and no parent responsibilities....one does not know what to do with them selves some days A change that is hard to get use to. It would be interesting to see how others are making out. Hope this helps with a suggestion. Thanks Carol
ReplyDeleteHi Karen,
ReplyDeleteGlad to know you are still around!
Carmen
Gracias Karen pero yo estoy completamente sola,y con cancer,que pasa con el nido bacio,cuando te encuentras en este caso,hace poco que murio mi marido,nuestros hijos nos abandonaron
ReplyDeletepero al enterarse de que yo su madre tenia cancer tampoco han querido saber de mi,
felicidades,me gusta mucho tu blog
al enterarse de que yo tenia cancer no quisieron saber nada de mi,soy segidora tuya desde hace tiempo
ReplyDeleteveo que en el otro correo se han intercabiado las palabras grcias por todo
Karen, how about the boomerang club? Our son is recently divorced and living back in his old room. Talk about readjustments! We also have our daughter, who's never left. She's in social work so doesn't make a living wage. What could you call that club?
ReplyDeleteMy mother is 95 but doesn't live with us. She's still in her own apartment, about 75 miles from me. I order her groceries online and we get down to her as often as possible.
We're all dealing with stuff, aren't we?
This post just made me feel better!! I'm right there with you in "Falling Off The Face Of The Earth 101"!! My own blog and social media have been neglected for the past two months or so. Two months! What the??? Life has been CRAZY this summer. But that is life, glad to be living it and enjoying it. Love your blog Karen, thanks for sharing with us!
ReplyDelete